Exclusion

I write a lot about inclusion-about how every one should be accepted, included, valued, and free to be themselves, receive equal opportunities and the importance of inclusion in all areas of life like school, healthcare, community, work and social. But, I don’t write a lot about what happens when someone is excluded.

We are no stranger to exclusion and I know so many of you have experienced it also. As a realist, I know that we will encounter instances of it many times throughout Stalen’s life. As an optimist, I hope that by sharing his story, by showing the world ALL that he is, that we may help minimize those instances for him and others like him.

While I can’t exactly describe how it makes Stalen feel….I know it makes him sad and reserved. As a parent, it is heartbreaking. We work really hard to ensure that everyone he encounters includes Stalen and treats him with respect. We also take great offence when that doesn’t happen.

Sometimes exclusion is really ugly and intentional, other times it is subtle, it could be the result of an accidental mistake or a lack of awareness of others and their needs. The sting burns and is long lasting when exclusion comes from those we thought we knew like family and friends. But, regardless of motives, intent, or other situational factors it is never okay and always hurts.

Exclusion floods the road that inclusion has built. It seeps into the foundation and creates damage and destruction. It causes you to second guess what you know, examine motives, relationships, and fiercely guard those that you love.

I am the mother to the most amazing 8 year old boy. He deserves to be included and have the same opportunities as everyone else. No one has the right to take that away from him. While he may be included the majority of the time, it doesn’t make those situations where he is excluded any easier…

it just shows us that we need to continue to build that road, to put our messages and stories out into the world, to educate about autism, inclusion, medical complexities, to celebrate differences, to remind that we are all human, and we each add value to this world-just like my sunshine boy! ☀️ 👦